Impossible

I dream that I am under the stars lying in the wet stand. Aphrodite walks up and stands above me, “time to put the past behind us and create a new future.” She holds her hand out to me.

“No.” I tell her.

She pauses for a moment, “no?”

“No.” I stand up strongly, “no, it’s going to take my entire life to heal from this. I haven’t even touched the surface on these stories. No, I am going to continue. I pulled off something impossible.”

I take a deep breath and look at the sky. “It was impossible.” I smiled. Aphrodite remembers the full story, she was the only one who was there through it all - when I was stranded with nothing - locked in a trailer - her altar in the corner - all I had were little tealight candles. My rituals were monitored. I was only allowed to cast for money. Money they would take.

There are energetic wounds here I need to resolve as I write, as I go over the story again and again, different pieces come to me - I don’t think I can tell it all, not every story.

When I broke free I rescued others. I headed back into the flames fueled by a mother’s rage - and other women escaped, too.

I remember crying to Aphrodite and begging her for a safe way out - for protection inside of hell itself - I remember.

It was impossible.